Family (continued)

Family: will never have my back.

Brandon and I are officially the biggest screw ups in BOTH our families now.

What did we do? We're 20 years old. Young... married...have a child...can't be a two places at once. We are learning.


VERY upset right now.

Stuff

I think I have finally figured out my definition of life.


We all hear the expression, "Everything happens for a reason". Well for me, that is the one phrase that gets me through this life I live. I find myself questioning myself on many , "what ifs".
That is the worst thing any human being can ask themselves. There is no such thing as "what if."

I ask myself what if Carly was never here, what would I be like? Does is really matter what I'd be like? The answer to that is, no. God put Carly into my life for a very obviously reason. She brings joy to my life. She sets me strait.

A friend of mine is going through a break up. He told me he wishes he could have maybe done things different. Why worry about that? Yes, it hurts. You miss your love.

You obviously didn't do things different because God did not want you to do things different. This is what God had planned for you. Never question your life. Your life is NOT a guessing game.

The way I look at life is: Life is a one way path. You might stumble and fall on your journey, but that path does not end. It keeps going as long as you want it to. At the very end of that path, God will be waiting for you to judge the way you traveled. Did you speed through life? Did you take short cuts? Did you doubt the Lord?


I was born into this earth for a reason. To be a lesson learner.

Many people question why I do not work. Well here is my most honest answer.

It's not because I don't have a car. It's not because I hate people. It's because I know that my job is being a stay at home mommy. It's what I'm best at. I was a natural at it. Just because I don't have a "job" does not mean I do not have a job.

My job is one of the hardest out there. I don't get paid money to be a 24/7 mommy. I don't get sick days. If I wake up sick, I still have to get up and go. I don't get vacations. I don't get to decide when I want to do things.

But let me tell you all something, this is the best job in the world.

2:44am, and my baby is sick : (

You will never know the kinda of "love" a parent has for their children until you have your own. It's a very powerful kind of love. Completely different kind of love than that of the normal "love" in our lives. It's the kind of love that is truly undescribable.

Carly is sick tonight. This is not the first time she's been sick, but it's the first time she's ever thrown up. (little tummy virus ish -lol) But seeing her get scared from throwing up and not know what is going on, is very hard to watch. I just wish I could take that pain and do it all for her. I CANNOT stand seeing my daughter/everything be in pain or scared. It rips me to pieces.


Carly is my everything. I don't remember what my life was like without her. It's almost as if I never lived without her in my life. She is the person who TRULY, COMPLETELY, LITERALLY completes my life. I wonder who I'd be with out her.

Many of my friends try and tell me "well you shouldn't or you should do this" etc... I just laugh and brush it off my shoulders because when you are a parents there are certain tips you just ignore because you know your child better then anyone else. You sort of just automatically know how to raise them learning right from wrong.


I am very lucky to have my daughter in my life. She has taught me things that NO ONE else could have EVER taught me.

I Love You Carly