Something I don't talk about much.

This post will be about my dad. Since he's been diagnosed with cancer, I've never really talked about him or his cancer. Not because it makes me sad or because I feel bad, but because I'm not sure how to act, and I'm not sure what to say.
I wish there were awards for being a hero, because that is what my dad is. Since I was a little girl, I've been the definition of "daddy's little girl". What ever he did, I did, which is why I know so much about cars, sports, etc etc. Him and I used to go to movies together every weekend. He taught me how to throw a curve ball, how to shoot a basketball, how to hit a golf ball, how to drive, how to do pretty much everything. The one thing I remember most, is our long walks back in the woods. There is lots of woods behind my house and a path that leads through the woods to a farm. We would always make journeys back there, and pick the wild blue berry's and then just walk the outlines of the farm. I remember that most because of how free I felt back there. The conversations we had together were the best. The lessons I learned from him, I'll never forget. He is a VERY wise man. He is the ONLY man in my life that has never hurt me emotionally or physically.
I remember my first REAL breakup with my first REAL boyfriend... I was so upset. I cried and cried, and he just held me in his arms and told me, this is just a break up that will make you a lot stronger in the future.
I remember, one of the worst days of my life, ... My dad and mom called me down to the dinner table. I was about 13.

Dad- "We want you to know that I have been diagnosed with Cancer."

Me- "Why?"

And that is about all I remember of what was said. I remember being told he only had about 9 months to live. I ran upstairs to my room, blasted my music, and cried. I hate God for what had just happened. I blamed him for this.

It's been almost 8 years since his cancer was found. He is still alive. Not in the best of shape, but he's still speaking at the front of the church, he's still been teaching at his school. He's still been doing little construction projects here and there. He's one of the strongest people I know.


I realized I never should have blamed God for his cancer. His cancer only brought our family closer. His cancer made me know that there really was a God. His cancer made me into a better mother. His cancer has made him into a hero. A hero for going through all he went through but still being able to manage God, a wife, 4 daughters, 4 grandchildren, a house, a school, a church.... everything. He never gives up, never has, and never will. My dad is, and always will be my hero.


There is something I'm scared of. That is, what is going to happen when he's gone. My mom won't be the same. I don't think she'll be able to live with out him. They are very much in love. They are true soul mates. I catch them smiling at each other, for no reason, just because they love each other. They have grown old with each other. I believe in love because of my parents.

When my dad is gone, my world will be much different. MUCH. I won't wake up in the morning like I am used to. I won't shut my eyes at night like I always do. I won't be able to walk into my parents house with a true smile on my face. But I will be able to live my life knowing that he was in my life, and now it's my turn to share all our traditions with my daughter.